Fat Girl, Revisited.

That's it. I'm back at it. I need input from Chicago area people for fall 5ks. (mind you...I'm scared of the suburbs. fyi.)

Plantar fascitis be damned. Giant gut be damned. I must run again. It's not that I actually "like" running. It's more that I like me when I run. Most of the time when I am running, there is a litany of curse words running through my head. If there were sailors in my family, they would probably be horrified and proud...all at the same time. I don't think kind thoughts when running. I can't say that I've experience that "euphoria" that others talk about. Mostly I think about death. Mine, the organizers, the fools that I blindly followed into this running thing, the runners around me, etc. Yet, I'm oddly thrilled when I finish a race. And, yes, I'm fully aware that 5k is only 3 miles and NOTHING to real runners. But, it works for me with my crappy knees and now, apparently, bad feet. I want to race that random person to the finish line again. I want another PR!

Soooooo...Chicago people, again, help with the fall 5ks!

Stupid ass resolutions

Yeah, it's that time of the year. For once in ages, I did NOT make any bizarro weight/diet resolutions. I resolved to stay in better contact with long distance friends and family. To be more patient (this one is gonna be a tough one!). And, to run, at least, five 5ks this year. So, I signed up today for one. The Race to Wrigley which I ran with a broken rib last year. However, I've not been running ages, so I'm gonna have to hoist the fat ass up off the couch and concentrate on getting the groove back.

My hopes for 2008 are a better year for my family heathwise. I nearly lost an uncle this year. I've a cousin that had some severe eye trauma. And, my aunt's husband was in a car accident that he was lucky to survive with just a broken vertebrae. All in all, we were lucky in that everyone survived, but I do hope for better health for all of them. And, because I'm selfish, for me too!

I'm toying what to do for personal growth for me this year. I learned so much about myself this past year. Through some circumstances, I got the chance to do a lot of soul searching and emotional growth and I think I've come out on the other side a far better person than I went into it. A growth spurt if you will. I've made some new friends that I wish I had given a fair chance ages ago. I learned a lot about people I thought were my friends. Most of all, I've learned that toxic people and dramarama is best left for my hourly dose of the Young and the Restless on weekdays! I've found such comfort in my photography that I'm contemplating doing something more with it. What? I don't know. I'm thinking about a year long program, maybe. I am going to go do a real shoot for a friend of mine in Atlanta. I'm so excited about that, well, I could pee my pants! I need to figure out what I want and make a game plan and go for it.

My weight and physical fitness is, as always, a source of concern for me. Somewhere in the summer, my give a damn left the building. Probably about the time I quit running. I kept eating like I was running, but I wasn't. Thankfully, I kept up with tennis so while I'm nowhere near where I would like to be, it isn't as bad as it could be! There is still some muscle under the jiggle. Now, to get rid of the jiggle.

So, that's that. My random ramblings staring down the barrel of a new year. I wish my friends a happy and prosperous New Year!

Oh the irony...

So, I can't sleep. That's really not that much new or really astounding. I frequently can't sleep. At times, well at a lot of times, it is due to the snoring that consumes my home. That's going on tonight, but that is not the reason. In fact, I'm not sure of the reason. I mean, I should be tired. Hell, I am tired. But, I just can't sleep.

We are in Indy this weekend. My mom's family, the people I am referring to when I say "my family", are having a holiday get together. Tomorrow. Well, by now, actually today. They decided to split the difference between Thanksgiving and Christmas and have just one get together. This saddens me for variety of reasons, but what is done is done and I have to deal. My husband, however, is opting to go to the ballgame instead of seeing my family which we now only see one time a year. Me, well, I'm not thrilled with this. However, I'm quietly tucking away the "get out of some family shit I don't want to do with his family" card in my pocket to be played at a later date.

So, here I sit. In a suite, where my snobbish kids have complained about not having their own bedroom and the fact that there is only one bathroom! I'm hoping the light and the noise doesn't wake them as they snooze on the sofa sleeper. I don't think it will as they were both nodding off in their mac and cheese at dinner. I can hear the drunks wandering in and out of the Wild Beaver Saloon, classy name, 9 stories below. And, the men in the room next to me appear to be also drunk and rather belligerent about the best Bloody Mary ever. EVER. Right now, the votes are in favor of some place in the French Quarter. And, I think I heard someone yacking.

The irony in all of this, is that while I sit here, at the foot of the pullout listening to both children snore blissfully, a little over seven years ago, my husband and I spent one night in this very hotel. We'd been to a Pacers game. We'd gone out afterwards to the bar attached to this hotel. We proceeded to get very, very ripped. The bartender refused to serve us anymore without proof that we were NOT driving home. So, my husband went and got a room (there was no way we were driving home!) and showed the bartender the room key and we kept right on drinking until close. I think. I don't really remember. But, what I do know is that, roughly, 41 weeks and 2 days later, my daughter was born. As we were driving down here today, I asked my husband where we were staying and he told me. I said "have we ever stayed there before?" meaning on our trips back home for football. I didn't voice that though and he smirked and said, oh yes, we spent ONE night there. One very productive night. And then, it clicked. Somehow, though, I feel a little dirty! I'm such a dork.

I'm so looking forward to, but also frightened by, tomorrow's family fun. My uncle, my mom's oldest brother, has not been quite ill and I'm scared at what I might see. He is my rock, my father figure since my dad died and I don't know how much I can handle. Holidays always suck for me when it comes to dealing with emotions surrounding my dad and then to have my fave uncle being ill. I just don't know. I don't. It is, however, so good to be going home. While I love Chicago, I miss my family something awful. And, honestly, at times, I miss my old life. I cannot believe how vastly different my life is now than I ever imagined it. When I was young, I dreamt of the big farmhouse with no neighbors and acres of land. A barn full of livestock and a large garden for me to can and freeze from. When I come back to my family, some of that comes flooding back. Can you imagine that? Me, on a farm. I know that for those of you that only know me during my Chicago years that has to be mind boggling. I'll let you in on a secret...I still have a pair of cowboy boots from my 20s. And, I still wear them every now and again.

So, here I am, in a hotel where I conceived my first child a little over seven years ago, listening to her snore and the drunks down at street level, which I was one a little over seven years ago, and worried about my aging family when I'm doing that myself. Yeah, life. What ARE you really going to do about it?

Long time, no post

Why is it that whenever things start to click for me, I get leveled by something. Tennis was going phenomenally and WHAMMO, I end up with bronchitis and a sinus infection. Add to that a lingering cough that has had me on an asthma inhaler, even though I don't have asthma. I've gone nearly a week now without the inhaler. This is the first time in what seems like FOREVER that I've played tennis twice in one week. It was good. I'm tired and I'm achy, but it was good. I hope to do a couple of weeks at 2x and then ramp back up to 3x or more a week. And, today, like a sign the registration info for the first 5k I signed up for (not that I ran, but signed up for) arrived in the inbox. I ran it with a broken rib, so why in the hell have I not been out there running lately?

It's time for me to get back in the groove of things. I feel so much better when I'm active. However, now, it feels like I'll have to start the C25K at the beginning!

Another hour of tennis...

Tomorrow, I hit the court at noon for a lesson with a new hitting partner. We tried to hook up previously, but she had some unexpected things come up and couldn't make it. We've never met. But, we did play on courts side by side a few weeks ago. I was having my usual lesson, she was playing with someone else. She has since pestered my coach nonstop to hit with me. It's shocking for me to think that someone considers me good enough to play. That's a new thing for me. I've never been someone considered an athlete, so this is all new! I am so glad to start adding hours of tennis back to my week though.

I've been toying with doing a Team in Training event. I've some very personal reasons for this. Since I've opted to make this a public blog, I'll just leave it as personal reasons. Just when I wrote it off, though, a brochure appeared in my mailbox. I don't know if this is some sort of sign or something. I don't. My concern is, largely, that training for such an event will screw up my tennis. That is my first love, really. Though, I feel compelled to do something, to reach out, to try to make a difference. I'm torn on many levels about this. Ugh.

The weather has turned now. There is talk of snow flurries tonight. Most of the leaves have dropped. It is wet and cold and I could swear there was sleet hitting our windows earlier today. I'm still toying with some 5ks this fall, but I've not signed up for any. I need to get on the ball!

Is there such a thing as Tennis Ass?

If so...I have it. My butt is killing me. And, my thighs. My usual routine is Tuesday/Thursday for tennis. And, then I added Zumba on Wednesday. But, I was so friggin' sore from tennis on Tuesday that the mere thought of Zumba made me want to vomit!

Is my coach punishing me for branching out? I don't know! He's decided that I could play a full level higher than what I am playing at and is now determined to make me play up to my full potential. Playing at my full potential apparently means developing a wicked topspin on both fore and backhand. An amazing backhand slice. And being able to muscle the yellow fuzzy beyond even a Williams sister. *snort* Oh goodie. I did get a very legit winners by him on Tuesday, though, so I guess he is right. And judging by the pain I am feeling right now, the aforementioned ass and thighs and assorted upper body parts, well, it was two hours of this week that were definitely harder than the same two hours last week! Tonight, I'm sitting here with throbbing gluts and twitchy thighs sipping a Cab. Hey! I deserve it after an hour of pretending to be a windshield wiper running from one sideline to the other.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my running. I'm not. More 5ks, of course. I don't know if I want to go beyond that or not. I have a motivational factor right now, but I don't want to screw up tennis! That's my first love.

Should've been in Miami...

I'm sad that I'm missing the festivities in Miami and the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in support of my friend. I hope that she and my friends that went had a great time. And will have a great time tonight!

I did log 5k today, but not all running. I must ease back into this with the foot. I did intervals and it felt good. It was a beautiful day here in Chicago. Kinda weather I love! I do so love fall.

I was also able to clear out some more clutter from this place I call home. We are streamlining and downsizing. We all have way too much shit and there is no need for it! The way things are economically right now, I know there are those that can use our excess a lot more than we can. I took three bags of DD's outgrown clothing to a friend whose sister has several children and not a lot of cash. I had contemplated just calling the Salvation Army, but as I dropped this off to my friend and saw her smile, a deep down inside smile, I knew I'd made the right decision to drive a bit out of my way.

My public service announcement, do not buy TunesPlus2.0 as an alternative to iTunes. It sucks hairy monkey balls. I'm going to use the CD as a coaster for my beer. I've been trying to figure out a way to get the music off of my ipod and onto my new computer. It looks like I might be able to use Rhapsody to do this. Well, since they finally have a 64 bit Vista version! Woo!

Date night tonight. I'm lacking any sort of enthusiasm. I really just like to curl up with a Twilight book. Something tells me that is NOT DH's game plan. eh.